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The Reality Gap

Throughout life, I saw how often the world reacted differently than I expected.

Countless times a conversation that I was rehearsing in my mind for days would go to an unwanted course. Every typical day could become a surprise. I couldn't possibly understand that. But now I understand.

This gap between expectation to reality is what moves stories along. In a good story, the world never reacts as the character expects.

When this gap opens, we enter a state of anxiety. We have encountered an obstacle on our way to our desired goal. We're freezing, fighting, or flighting, spending an enormous amount of energy because EVERYTHING is relevant. Then one of two things happen; either we find a more drastic action to do that would get us to our objective, or we give up on our goal altogether. The beauty in story characters is that they NEVER give up.

Initially, I thought something was wrong when this gap opened so frequently. As the years passed, though, I noticed a peculiar thing happening to my behavior. Because I've become so used to my anxiety gap, I've shortened it. Now, when I come across an unknown, it's easier for me to understand what happened and change my life course accordingly. I make decisions fast.

That's how I handle polyamory, that's how I took Corona times, and that's how I manage my everyday life.

In short, we all have anxiety; It's our reaction to chaos. The question is, how long will you keep yourself in the overwhelming feeling of indecisive action when it comes.

Of course, I still give up at times. But my daily fight with resistance is another story

Anyway, I find it fascinating, and maybe you have some more insight. So how do you handle your life gaps?

*In the picture - a gap opening up.


The Dance of Life and Death is 140 pages long! I'm going to structure it better in the next couple of months, which would stop me from writing. Then it would be much easier to write, and more importantly, it'll be a better story.

'Till next time

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